remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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