matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
