so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
