Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
