I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
im on a boat
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