a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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