clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Fuck appropriateness.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
