i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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