p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
