she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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