is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
