respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
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