____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
