dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
my mouth tastes like poor choices
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
