I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
did i walk over a car last night?
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I supernannyed him into submission
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
