Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
They are going to name an STD after you.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
