dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
