I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
