Someone shit on the floor
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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