Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
