So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
