Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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