I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
