I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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