What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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