You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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