I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
