hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
