I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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