hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
