That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
