His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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