Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
