I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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