I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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