How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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