Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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