I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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