he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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