David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
