I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
you had me at cake vodka
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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