I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize