Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
