Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think my vagina is haunted
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
