You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My butt remains clenched, sir.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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