in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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