when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
