Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
