Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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