he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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