He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
