You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
