best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
