A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
