There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
