I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
